Birth Story

Well, what can I say? Carter's birth went according to plan. Both Coulson and Charlie were born in the wee morning hours of the fourth day past due date, so if Carter planned to follow in his brothers' paths, I would go into labor Sunday night-ish and have the baby early Monday morning. A few days before my due date, I discovered that my OB (the one who delivered Charlie and the one I saw throughout this whole pregnancy) would be the Dr. on call during that time - perfect! Also, both of my previous labors were quick (Coulson 3 hours with not-recommended-home-induction, Charlie 7 hours) and I was unable to get an epidural for either one since I was fully dilated and ready to go by the time I got to the hospital with Coulson and I was stuck in the triage unit of the maternity ward with Charlie until I was pretty much fully dilated and again, not enough time for an epidural. So given my quick previous labors, this time I was more determined to have a natural birth of my own choice, even if I had the luxury of actually laboring in a private labor room with time to ask for an epidural and I was a little nervous about how that would work out. And it worked out pretty well. It would have been perfect if I could have skipped the last hour, up until the part when I heard Casey say, "He's out! Open your eyes, you can look now. "

So, about 12:30am Monday morning (we hadn't gone to bed yet, so it still felt like Sunday night to us...) my water broke. Luckily I was in the bathroom when this happened, so it wasn't a big deal. My parents rushed over as fast as they could - although they didn't need to because I wasn't feeling any contractions yet. We gave my dad all the instructions about getting the kids ready in the morning, then Casey, my mom and I left for the hospital.
By the time I got settled in the room and the nurse hooked me up to the contraction monitor, I hadn't really felt any strong contractions, but the monitor indicated that I was having contractions every 3 minutes. By the end of the 20 minute monitoring period, I was feeling about half of the contractions and dilated about 3cm. Then I got up and Casey and I walked the hallways for a while.

We went back to the room around 3am to be monitored again and to find some Law & Order to watch on TV as a distraction (yep, we found Law & Order on at 3am and somehow I wasn't surprised.) The contractions were getting stronger and after my monitoring I took a long shower (I had already seen that episode of Law & Order.)

Things were starting to get worse around 4am. I think around this time I was 6 cm dilated. Law & Order was replaced with an infomercial and my contractions were pretty intense. The nurses came in and started setting up tables of instruments and blankets and towels to prepare for the birth and the baby. I was getting more and more uncomfortable in any position.

They hooked me up for monitoring again, maybe around 4:30 and after that, I pretty much stayed in bed and couldn't move because the contractions were coming right on top of each other. From this point on, I didn't really open my eyes much. At some point during this time, I remember thinking, "this natural birth thing is such a stupid idea!" But I also knew that my body moves quickly and I could probably have the baby out faster than the anesthesiologist could get the meds in, so I stayed the course.

I was at 8cm and the nurse called the doctor. But about 2 contractions later, I really wanted to push. Of course the nurse is like, relax, don't push yet. But it's kinda involuntary, when your body wants to push, you push. So I tried not to push too much, but I did a little and I could pretty much feel that the baby was crowning. And they kept saying, "Don't push" (I hate these words!) I couldn't talk very well, but I mustered up the ability to simply ask, "WHY?" She didn't answer, which made me think she was just waiting for the doctor, so I tried to relax, but I didn't fight the pushing too much, because between the nurse and Casey and the doctor soon arriving, I'm sure they were capable of handling a head if one happened to pop out. Meanwhile, the doctor was taking his time... The nurse called again and said, "She's ready!" Finally, he arrived and Casey realized that I was crowning, so he encouraged me by saying, "You're crowning! This is it, it's almost over!" To which my response, in my head only, because I couldn't actually talk, was "No shit, Sherlock. Why do you think I want to push so much?"
But then I didn't care because the doctor was here and I could really push now.

Then maybe 3-4 pushes later, Carter James was born at 5:28am. (Exactly 5 hours after my water broke). Casey cut the cord. Now that it's over, I am proud to say I did it naturally. Not sure if it's something I want to do again (but I say that every time)... There are pros and cons for each method - natural, meds, C-section - but in the end, the side effects are just that, side effects. The real goal is what every mother wants: to hold her baby in her arms.

He is precious and I'm already head over heels in love with him. I can't wait to see how his personality develops and discover all the great gifts that God has given him. His brothers are crazy about him and his dad is overjoyed to finally hold him (he says I've been hogging him for the last 9 months...) Carter is one lucky little boy!

Ban Lifted!

Back in September, all of the area hospitals banned children from their hospitals, based on the fact that children are disease-ridden, snot-faced, filthy carriers of the H1N1 flu virus. (The only exception is the Emergency Department and of course for children who are actually sick or injured.) This means that Coulson and Charlie wouldn't be able to visit me and the baby in the hospital. I've been trying really hard to involve the boys in the pregnancy, to consider the baby a part of the family already and to celebrate their roles as big brothers. Not being able to see their new brother for the first 2 days or so was a devastating thought for me -- the boys should have priority to meet their brother and it's not fair that my friends could come and visit me and see the baby before my own boys could see the baby. My mom was telling me to make sure I stay in the hospital as long as they will let me, but if I have a choice, I wouldn't want to be away from my boys longer than necessary.

I was really bummed, but hoped that by the time my baby was born that the flu season would be over and the ban would no longer be in effect. And the months passed by, as did the flu season and eventually H1N1 was no longer a major topic and I waited for the ban to be lifted. But no, more months passed by. A few weeks ago, I heard on the radio that 2 area hospitals were lifting the ban. I anxiously ran to the radio to hear the hospitals, but, alas, they did not mention the hospital where I will be having my baby. Disheartened and getting closer to the due date, I started to give up hope.

But today I was talking with some friends, and one mentioned that I should double check on that anyway, before assuming the worst. So I googled it this evening and sure enough, the ban has been lifted!!! Apparently it was lifted the same day as the other hospitals, but somehow didn't make it on that radio report (our local NPR news affiliate is really good on reporting local arts events, but they don't have a strong local news segment...)

So now I'm super happy that my boys will be able to visit me in the hospital and meet their new baby brother. And if I have the opportunity to stay an extra day, I can take it without feeling guilty for missing my boys!

And oh yeah, it's Saturday night, 2 days after my due date, and I'm at home blogging, not having a baby yet...

Can I get any bigger????

A couple months ago, I tried on this outfit and the shirt pretty much covered the belly, but a little skin would peek out when I moved my arms. I asked Casey if I could get away with wearing it without looking skanky, to which he smiled and replied, "Um, kinda, but you could probably wear it anyway." But I'm a conservative dresser, so I sadly hung up the shirt (both items are maternity clothes) and called my parents with a desperate plea to pick up some larger shirts on their shopping trip that evening (they had a 30% off coupon for Kohls expiring that night AND Kohls was having a sale on maternity shirts. Wow, Kohls was having a sale, what a surprise!)
For fun, I tried the shirt on a couple weeks ago. Casey decided that I definitely could NOT wear that outfit. I thought it was so cute with my little belly poking out, so I had him take a picture...
So here's the question - I need to update my facebook picture and I'm tempted to use this one? It would probably only be for a week, because I'll replace it as soon as Baby 3 arrives. So should I use this picture in Facebook?

I'm Blessed Beyond Belief (or else just spoiled rotten)

About 2 weeks ago, I had a day full of blessings and I'm finally getting around to blogging about it!

I started my Tuesday with my regular pre-natal water aerobics class. I've been going twice a week for the past few months and I can't say enough about how wonderful it is! Other than this class, I haven't really been working out during my third trimester, so this class has been essential to keeping my body active and strong. Being in the water while I'm pregnant is such a great feeling! My body doesn't ache while I'm in the water and I don't feel like an elephant with all my extra weight. (I was going to make a joke that I'm more like a whale, but I don't even feel like a whale, more like a cheerful dolphin!) And it's not really a class, since I'm the only participant most of the time. So it would seem more like I have my own personal trainer for water aerobics, but we focus more on the chatting and socializing while we exercise, so it's more like working out with a friend. She has 4 kids all in the same age range as my kids, so mostly we talk about parenting, kids, gardening, birthing, etc. It's been so nice and I am blessed that our Y offers such a program and I know it's a blessing to even be able to join the Y, since it's a luxury that I didn't have with my other pregnancies.

Unfortunately, since I was the only participant in the class, they had to add the mother/baby water class to my instructor's schedule, which is right in the middle of when we were meeting for our prenatal class. But they are letting her continue with me until my due date, since I'm so close. So that gives me the extra blessing of some special time with Charlie - I go to aerobics for a half hour, get Charlie from the nursery and he joins me for the mother/baby water class that she lets us "audit" for free, then he and the instructor's kid play on the stairs in the pool while we finish the prenatal workout. Charlie thinks it's a lot of fun!

Anyway, back to my Tuesday... In the afternoon I redeemed a Christmas gift from my mom for a prenatal, hot-stone massage and it was AWESOME! I've gotten a massage for each of my pregnancies and this one was the best one I've ever had. I also got a gift certificate from my mother-in-law (I asked several people for massage gift certificates at Christmas on purpose!) that I haven't used yet. I might try to get a pedicure next week and then I think I'd still have enough left over for a massage that I'm saving for after the baby comes, because I've decided that I'll need a massage then too.

Calm, relaxed and rejuvenated from the massage, I came home to get ready for my baby shower! My friends from my small group at church wanted to throw me a diaper shower, but when I decided to use cloth diapers and a diaper service, and they didn't know what to do with that, so they asked me. Normally, I would have been honored that they offered and then stubbornly refuse to cooperate since it's my third baby and I don't really need a shower. But I've had an idea for a "party" in my head for years that had been growing stronger and stronger since December. I really wanted to the throw the "party" for myself, as a birthday party, but with studying for the GREs and all the other stuff going on as February got closer, I was beginning to realize that I wasn't going to be able to make it happen. Until my friends said they wanted to do a shower for me! Turns out that my "party" is even more difficult to organize than a regular baby shower, so my friends gave me a huge gift by doing this for me! Here's what I asked for:

The Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) is one of the missions organizations that I love to support, even though I'm not Mennonite. I've admired them ever since I witnessed their work when I was 13 years old on a missions trip in Ecuador (I wasn't on a missions trip with MCC missionaries, but I was very impressed with their approach to missions in the town where I was visiting). And MCC is a prominent organization in central PA, where I went to college, so I was able to learn more about the organization while I lived there. Anyway, one of the ways that people can get involved in their ministry is by making kits for different needs - disaster kits, medical kits, school kits - and newborn kits. I've always thought it would be fun to have a party to put together these kits with a bunch of my friends!

So that's what we did for my baby shower! It was wonderful - we made 15 newborn kits! I truly felt showered with love from all my friends! It was a great blessing that so many of my friends came to participate and indulge in my odd request for a baby shower. On top of all that, they had a "money tree" at the party where people could contribute some cash towards my diaper service! Totally unnecessary on top of everything else, but Casey and I were touched by the love it demonstrated. We don't deserve to have such great friends and they are showing us so much about the love Christ wants us to have for each other! It's been a while since I've mentioned how blessed we are with the love we have found at our church, but yeah, we really love our church. (We finally took the leap and became members the other week, I guess I'll have to blog about that soon!)




So we are abundantly blessed (or else simply spoiled rotten)! I know that we are not promised that life will always be sunshine and roses, so I am simply trying to soak in these blessings right now and not take anything for granted.

Spring Wins!

Way back when I first told the boys about the baby, I told them that the baby would come around the same time that the daffodils started blooming again. So now that the signs of spring have been peeking out, we've been carefully watching the bulbs in our yard start to grow. Everyday Coulson and I go outside and look at the growing plants, speculating which will be the first to "poke out his head:" the baby or the flowers. Coulson has been guessing in favor of the baby. I hadn't made a verbal guess, but inside I was pretty sure that the flowers would be first. I was right. This morning I noticed two yellow daffodils and two purple crocuses blooming (and baby is not even close to poking out his head right now).

I've been feeling fairly good this week. A bit sluggish, but still able to get some stuff done around the house. I am tired and I try to get a nap in everyday. Right now it's only 9:30am and I'm already looking forward to my 1pm nap time when I rest with Charlie....

Annoying false labor

Ugh! Last night I had the most annoying false labor and I barely got any sleep. Firstly, because whenever I *think* these contractions could turn into the real event, it gets my mind excited. I try not to get all worked up and I just keep going about my normal life, but even with the idea way back in my head, it's impossible to ignore. And these contractions were a lot stronger than any of the other Braxton-Hicks I've been having. So last night while trying to sleep, I timed several contractions at 10 minutes apart and tried really hard to get back to sleep. I finally drifted off around 3am, only to be awoken by a strong contraction and back pain at 4am. And I was hungry. So I got up and ate a snack and moved around a little and looked up the differences between false labor and real labor on the internet. Wouldn't you know that I fit some of the indications for both categories? The strength and location of the contractions matched the descriptions of real labor, but over time, they proved to be more irregular and as I moved around, the contractions and back pressure went away. So I went back to bed and slept till morning.
So now I'm vexed because not only am I still pregnant, I also am very tired because I didn't get much sleep last night. Well, kids are at school for now, so I'm going to go back to bed for a bit.

Second Trimester

As my 2nd trimester started, I stopped taking naps because I was having so much trouble sleeping at night that I wanted to be as tired as possible. One night I counted how many times I woke up to change positions and I tallied up about 20 awakenings. (Granted, my math while I'm sleeping isn't that great, but I figured it was a lot even with a margin of error) So the next day, I put up a desperate plea on Facebook for advice about pregnancy pillows. From the responses, I discovered that it was a near miracle that I had made it through 2 pregnancies without having a special pillow. A wonderful friend let me borrow hers and from the first night, it was great - I only woke up about 5 times!

When the 1st trimester tiredness hit me, I couldn't work out as much as I wanted because it pretty much wiped me out for the rest of the day. But when my energy picked up in the 2nd trimester, I hit the treadmill again, training because I wanted to run in a 5K that supported Crisis Control Ministry, the ministry where I volunteer. The race was in October and I finished without needing to walk. Although my time was more than 5 minutes longer than my pre-pregnancy 5Ks, I really enjoyed it, and I was thankful for my friend who slowed her pace and ran with me. So then I decided to keep up with the running and race in the Turkey Strut 5K on Thanksgiving, 5 months pregnant. I was able to talk another friend into running at my slow pace, which helped me stay motivated to keep running. This course was harder - more hills - but I finished a little faster than the Oct. 5K, which surprised me. My brother visiting from NY also ran in the turkey strut and my parents and other brother came out to cheer us on. It was fun and we might try to get the other brothers to run next year and make it an annual event. But after that race, I decided I was done running and I started just using the elliptical machines at the Y.

As the belly got bigger, the boys have enjoyed interacting more with the idea of a baby brother. I love involving the boys in the pregnancy whenever I can, to help them feel connected to their brother as much as possible. Both boys came with me to the ultrasound appointment to find out the gender. (I brought some engaging toys to distract them in case the technician had any disturbing news, but graciously, everything looked fine!) Charlie was concerned that they were going to look at his belly too, but we assured him that they were only going to look at mine. Coulson was quite disappointed when the technician told us that it was a boy - he pouted for a while, but has since come to terms with a house full of boys.

Coulson likes to sing to my belly and hug the belly. He talks about what he'll do to help out when the baby comes and he's volunteered to change the baby's diapers and is looking forward to feeding the baby a bottle, singing lullabies when he wakes up at night and making him smile and laugh. Charlie hugs and rubs the belly and talks about the baby, but I don't think he understands as well as Coulson. I think it will be more real for him when he gets to hold the baby - last summer he got the chance to hold a couple babies and he just loved it. I am a little concerned about how he'll react when the baby gets here and gets a lot of attention and stuff. He's pretty easy-going, so I could be worried about nothing, but I am trying to prepare myself so I won't be surprised by some new undesirable behaviors.

First Trimester

There are several posts in my head that I want to get written out, to serve as a journal of my memories, before my life gets too crazy and I forget everything. So the next several posts will be about stuff that I've wanted to write, but just haven't gotten around to yet.

Even though I've blogged a little bit here and there, I really haven't blogged a bunch about my pregnancy, especially since nine months is a VERY VERY LONG time, as I'm feeling it right now. So here's a recap of some of the highlights of the first trimester -

My morning sickness was mild to moderate, but near constant. I don't think I ever threw up, but I did feel nauseous most of the time. With my first 2 babies, I didn't really feel like eating much, but the funny thing with this baby, even though I was nauseous and didn't want to eat, I felt worse on an empty stomach, so I actually did eat anyway. I don't get over-obsessed about weight gain during pregnancy because I've realized that my body gains weight no matter how much I exercise (and I like to eat, and I eat moderately healthy, but I'm not ready to make any more major changes in that area), but I usually counted on a negative start to the weight gain in the first trimester to counteract the surplus gain in the following trimesters. But since I needed to eat to be less queasy, I didn't get this negative head start in the weight gain battle this time. Oh well.

And I was super tired. I tried to rest or take a nap every day, but with 2 other kids, that was really hard to do. If I laid down on the couch, they would climb all over me and sit on me. The boys got to watch a lot of TV for those months, mostly Phineas and Ferb, a cartoon on Disney Channel. It's actually really funny and Casey and I enjoy it as much as the boys do.

I never had any real cravings for odd foods, but my relationship with caffeine took a u-turn. I'm not a coffee drinker, all the tea and coke in our home is always decaf or caffeine-free, so the only time I had caffeine was when I ate out at a restaurant. But during my first trimester, I started to get headaches every afternoon, except on days when I had a caffeinated drink for lunch. My doctor agreed with me that it was better to have a drink of caffeine everyday instead of taking Tylenol everyday, and thus started my "craving" for McDs sweet tea. For those of you not in the South, McDonalds has the best sweet tea! (Best marketing move ever, because before I realized that they had the best tea, I never went to McDonalds, but since then, I have often chosen to eat there just because of their tea, despite the food) And you can get a large sweet tea for just a $1. So about 4-5 times a week, I managed to find myself passing a McDs sometime during the morning, by either taking the long way home after taking Charlie to preschool, or swinging by after working out at the Y (those were dangerous stops, because they often came with french fries...) About once a month, I would test the caffeine fix, to see if my addiction had stopped as mysteriously as it had begun, but alas, the headache would continue. The addiction persisted through the 1st, 2nd and into the 3rd trimesters, but about 2 weeks ago, the addiction disappeared. I can now stick with my decaf tea without afternoon headaches. I don't know why my body wanted caffeine suddenly and now it doesn't need it? But I really enjoyed my McDs sweet tea indulgence while I needed it.

Me Pregnant

So some of you from far away have asked to see some pictures of my pregnant self. I don't really have that many, especially recently, since mostly I just take pictures of my kids, but I liked how cuddly Charlie was after his nap the other day, so I had Coulson take a picture of us. But the camera was set to take video, so I had cut this picture out from a video clip and it's a bit blurry. Still cute, I think.

About 6 years and 8 1/2 months ago...

I wasn't blogging six years ago, but I did write a little bit about what was happening in my life. Now that I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy, I've been reminiscing about my previous pregnancies and I found the following journal entry/emails when I was transforming our office into a nursery. So in celebration of how six years ago today was one of the best days of my life, I thought I would include the stories below so they can be part of my official blog record. The first is a journal entry, and the rest are email updates that I sent to my friends. (Many of my readers were original recipients of these emails, but it's been 6 years, so it might seem new anyway...)

UPDATED - I have included pictures of my precious boy as he has grown, basically a picture taken on or near his birthday each year.

Finding Out We Were Pregnant!
I expected my period by Saturday May 31, 2003. We had decided to wait until Sunday morning before taking a pregnancy test, but on Saturday afternoon I was bored. So I asked Casey if I could take the test then. He agreed. I had an errand to run, so I drank something (Dr. Pepper?) and went on my errand. When I came back, I took the test. Casey was working on the computer (editing our wedding videos). Of course I peeked before the full 3 minutes and I saw a faint pink line. I told Casey, "I think I see a pink line." He jumped up and came to see. He could also see a pink line. We looked at each other, smiled, hugged and looked at each other again. It's a weird moment - full of emotions but still now sure how to feel or act. After church Sunday we went out and bought a full price pregnancy test (the first test was a $1 from a discount store ;-) The expensive test told us the same as the cheap test, so we made phone calls to our parents!

Subject: 15 weeks!!
Date: August 10, 2003

Since everyone wanted to be kept updated:

I got to hear my baby's heartbeat on Friday! It sounded very fast to me (but normal to the nurse practioner). When I got my ultrasound at 9 weeks, Casey and the Doctor could see a heartbeat, but I couldn't. This time I could hear the heartbeat.

On Thursday the first person noticed! I hadn't seen her since May. When she first saw me I could tell by the look in her eye that she suspected something. When I left the room, she asked my friend if I was pregnant. Most of the people who work with me everyday haven't noticed yet, but I think I'm starting to get some stares. I've only gained 4 pounds, but my waist has grown 5 inches. Luckily for me, I lost 10 pounds last year, but didn't have any money to update my wardrobe. So now my clothes are fitting better! :-) My mom is coming up next week with a bag full of used maternity clothes and I am beginning to need it. My biggest clothing issue right now is finding a nice dress for my friend Jaimey's wedding in 4 weeks. I am doing a reading at the ceremony, so it needs to be nice and I need to look good. Plus Casey will be wearing a tux, so I need to look nice next to him. But how big will I be in 4 weeks? (I got some really cute shoes though!)

I went to a wedding last night with an open bar! Unfortunately I was with Casey and a bunch of other medical students, so they wouldn't let me touch the alcohol. (Of course if you know me, that's not a huge sacrifice) I have become good friends with Shirley Temple though. I have one more wedding this summer and I am sure I will spend some more time with Shirley.

At my next appointment (Sept 9) we get an ultrasound. I'm thinking this ultrasound will be more interesting than the first one being that my baby will be bigger that 2.7 cm. I should also start feeling the baby move around that time. I'll keep you updated!

Subject: 21 weeks - Over half way there!
Date: Mon Sept 22, 2003

Wow,
It's really hard to believe that I am halfway there!

I am really enjoying the 2nd trimester. Didn't like the 1st trimester that much, but the 2nd trimester is great! I can eat a lot (which I love!), get to wear new clothes (who doesn't like that?!) and get more attention as people are able to see that I am pregnant.

Getting the ultrasound was a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. I was able to detect a lot more that I thought ("oh, there's the head, there's the heart pumping, there's the legs, there's a little foot!"), and I got to see the baby move. We're waiting until the big moment to find out the sex, so you'll have to wait till next year before you can know to buy pink and purple or blue and green clothes.

Everythings going well with the pregnancy. All of my students have noticed by now, I think. One my my beginner students was trying to tell me something. All I understood was the word "pregnant" (she had no problems pronouncing that word, even though my advanced students can't get it right) but the rest of the sentence -- I have no idea was she said. Then she gave my hand a nice squeeze and smiled. I think she was telling me that she knew. [for those of you wondering how to communicate with people who are learning English, that's how it works: a few words (sometimes), body language and and understanding of humanity]

The belly is getting bigger and just beginning to give me problems. It takes me longer to get up from the couch, to change my sleeping position, etc. I also have to pay more attention to my posture or I'll get backaches. Oh, and I pee all the time. At least twice a night, sometimes more often. But I get to eat more. That's good. Interestingly, the baby really likes chocolate. And I like to keep my baby happy.

Casey will be leaving for the month of October. He's going to NC to do a rotation at Wake Forest in Emergency Medicine. We are hoping it will increase his chances of getting his residency there (close proximity to grandmothers= free childcare! * just kidding grandmas, we are more looking forward to building relationships, more than just child care)

Well, I've done enough rambling for now. I'll keep you all updated, probably next month.

Subject: After the third trimester...
Date: Tues Dec 2, 2003

After the third trimester, there are no more trimesters! The third trimester is the LAST trimester. I have mixed feelings about this fact.
Sometimes I think to myself "I have been pregnant since May. That's like forever! When will this be over?" and sometimes I think "I can't believe that I am less than 2 months away from my due date! This is all happening so fast!" And Casey told me that I will be officially "term" on Jan 1o -- which means my baby will be able to join the world without being labeled "pre-mature" despite the fact that Jan 10 is 3 weeks before my due date. Jan 10 is VERY close. I'm not ready for a Jan 10 baby. I am thinking more of a Feb baby. Well, I'm sure that whenever the baby comes, I'll be ready. I can feel the baby kicking and moving a lot more now, which I like. And we are starting to get some baby equipment and preparing the nursery, so this time is exciting. But there are some discomforts. I am amazed how heavy 10-15 extra pounds in one spot can be. It is difficult to switch sides at night, get in and out of cars and pick up things from the ground. (Don't misunderstand me on the 10-15 extra pounds -- I have put on more weight than that, but it has been more evenly distributed over my thighs and buttocks. The 10-15 pounds is probably the weight of my baby (about 3.5 pounds now) and all that amniotic fluid).
Over Thanksgiving I got to spend some time with my 1 week old nephew (born Nov. 19). He is so sweet and I can't believe that his little cousin is just 2 months younger and still growing in my tummy. It's amazing! In 2 months I will have a baby of my very own! Not a niece or nephew to coo and cuddle with, but my own baby. And all the responsibility that comes with it -- feeding, diapering, loving, raising into a good person who loves God and all His children -- oh my!
Also, there are happenings in my life unrelated to baby. Casey is currently interviewing for residencies. He is interviewing mostly in NC and VA, but also DE, GA, SC and PA. We won't know until March 18th where we will actually be moving to, but we plan to move in June. (Side note to Georgians -- We will be in the Atlanta area in June also for Casey's brother's wedding. I will need a babysitter on Sun June 13.) For residency, he has decided on Emergency Medicine which will be 3 years.
Well, Thanks for reading my ramblings. I am also trying to send some pictures of myself with belly, my new nephew and of our nursery (Thanks to Anne and Jess for your help!) We went with a Nemo theme for the nursery because the room already had bright blue walls and we had the talents of Anne to draw the fish for us.

Subject: I went to the doctor and the doctor said....
Date: Sat Jan 24, 2004

Well, the doctor indicated that my baby is apparently in now hurry to leave the comforts of his/her womb. The baby has barely "dropped" and I'm only about 1/2 effaced (for those of you who know what that means) They still say it could happen any day, but its more likely that the baby will come later rather than sooner. Due Date is Jan 31 -- one week from today!

Casey was very bummed when he heard this news. He is more impatient about this baby than I am. I have been mentally preparing myself for a long pregnancy, but my mental powers are weakening and I'm starting to get anxious too. I'm not really nervous at all about the labor. That might change once contractions start for real, but I had originally thought that I would be terrified about labor for all 9 months. I think being educated about the process helps to take away the scariness (so I recommend childbirth classes and reading the magazines and books about labor).

So we're getting tired of waiting. We've been carrying a baby doll around the house to help get Chester used to the idea. But now, when I hold the baby doll, I really just want it to be my own real baby. But Chester has been good around all the baby equipment and toys. He sniffs around cautiously when we bring out the baby doll or a new toy. Then he goes and lays down.

I will be working a full week this week (unless the baby comes of course...) and the following week I may work a couple days, but I'm not planning to work a full week. Oh yeah, to let you know one of my pet peeves while being pregnant (so maybe you can avoid it with others...) Every day I go to work and every day everyone says "You're still here!" or "You came to work today!" and "I'm surprised you''re still coming to work" (even after I've explained that I'm saving my leave time for after the baby instead of wasting it before the baby comes, we have a limited amount of paid leave and they all know I'm the only breadwinner in my family) and "How are you feeling?" and "How's the baby today?" etc. Now, it's okay to inquire when you see someone once a week or less, but I see these people EVERY DAY! I must answer these questions EVERY DAY to the SAME people! And I have had to do this for the whole last month. I might accept these inquiries if they waited until after my due date, but it doesn't help me with the waiting when everyone around me is so impatient. And then there are the comments that delivering babies is not in the job description, so I better not have the baby at work, and other allusions to babies just popping out suddenly. First time babies take a LONG time. The average labor for a first timer is 18-24 HOURS! The first few hours aren't that bad, just annoying or slightly uncomfortable, so I think I will do okay on my own or at least have time to call Casey and he can come and get me. Sorry about the tirade, I didn't think it would be so long or so much shouting. I guess these are things I really just want to say to my co-workers, but I can't, so I'm passing it on to you.

Casey was supposed to be doing research at the hospital this month, but it didn't work out like he had planned, so he spends all day at home just waiting for me to have the baby. (No wonder he's so impatient) Next month he will be facillitating small groups with second year med students (about 10 hours a week) so basically he'll be home that month as well. And he has a vacation month for March. I will go back to work at the end of March, but I will hopefully be able to work some hours from home. In April, he will be taking a humanities course (Medicine and Religion) that will meet for about 4 hours each day. The grandmas and two friends will be helping us with the childcare in April. In May, Casey graduates!!! I will probably quit my job at the end of May and we will move at the beginning of June. I'm so glad that he will be home so much during these first months. I think it will be good for me to have him share the baby duties with me and also good for him and the baby to bond -- especially since his time will be very limited next year during his first year of residency. We'll find out on March 18 where we will be moving for residency. That's another date we are anxiously waiting for.

Well, I hope that my next mass mailing will be to announce my baby!

Subject: Labor Details
Date: Mon Feb 9, 2004

Yes, the rumor is true, my labor was only 3 hours long. I took castor oil (natural induction method) to encourage things along since my due date had passed already. I took the castor oil before dinner on Tuesday night. That evening I had some Braxton-Hicks contractions (the "fake" contractions that go away with movement and are irregular and not painful). Then we went to bed. I didn't sleep and around 1:00 I felt some contractions that were definately not like the ones before. So I got up and walked around to see if they continued and also started timing them. Once I decided that they were regular and increasing in strength, I woke up Casey (~1:30 am) and he helped me time the contractions. At that time, the contractions were coming about 8 minutes apart. At 2:00 Casey "checked" me and said I was about 3 cm dilated (benefits of having a doctor in the house) Generally, you go to the hospital when contractions are about 5 minutes apart and about 5 cm dilated. But by 2:30, contractions were extremely severe and coming 3 minutes apart. So Casey called the hospital to let them know. He was on the phone for about 20 minutes, repeating all the info to 3 different people and being on hold. Meanwhile, I wake up my mother and we start getting ready (luckily we put the bags by the door before bed in hopes that that would encourage labor also) and I'm also suffering severe contractions. While he is on the phone, my water breaks with a gush! I checked my fluid and it was full of meconium (the baby passed his first bowel movement in the womb, not a good thing) So I rinse off and we rush to the car. As Casey pulls up to the hospital, I'm in the middle of another contraction with the urge to push, this is about 3:00. Casey says you don't get the urge to push unless you absolutely ready, so he knew this was happening soon. Mom and I went to the Labor and Delivery while Casey parked the car and ran as fast as he could back to the hospital. I got to the nurse's station and gave the nurse my name. She took me into the examination room for an inital check. She asked if I could give her a urine sample and I said no. She watched me breathing through a contraction and said "Let's skip the examination and just put you in a delivery room" In the delivery room, I asked the nurse if it was too late for an epidural. The doctor checked me and I was 10 cm dilated (10 is the goal!) so yeah, too late. But the pushing phase isn't as bad as the 8-10 cm phase, so the worst was already over. Once they got me hooked up to the monitors and my IV in, they let me start pushing (finally, thank goodness). The rapid labor probably contributed to the bad tear because my body didn't have enough time to gradually stretch out. I don't know how many pushes, but they did have to use a vaccuum (I had no idea until the next day when Jaimey said something, I had my eyes closed through all the pushing.) When the head was out, I reached down and touched his head. They rushed the delivery (cutting and vaccuum) because of the meconium and the heart rate was dropping a little. He also had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, but not very tightly. There was a team of neo-natal specialists to take him as soon as he came out, so I didn't get to hold him right away. I was prepared for this because I knew that's what they do with all meconium babies. So the team worked on him and I watched from my bed and Casey would go back and forth and tell me what they were doing. For the labor, Casey, my mom and my friend Jaimey were there. (Jaimey will be an OB/GYN resident next year.) They all helped me with my breathing and telling me to push and encouraging me. My mom almost passed out and had to leave briefly to drink some OJ. I didn't really notice until someone said something about getting my mother before the baby came out so that she wouldn't miss the delivery.

Coulson was breathing okay but had a slight grunt, so the pediatrician took him to the neo-natal ICU for longer observation. I did get to hold him for about 15 minutes before they took him to the ICU. After they finished up with me in the labor room (about 2 hours after delivery) Casey and I went up to the ICU to see my baby. He was just fine and I got to try to feed him. He later joined me in my recovery room (after I got a chance to sleep a little).

So there are all the wonderful details. A very unusual labor for sure.

Big Coulson says he has never called anyone else Coulson before, so he's not sure what it will feel like to have another Coulson around. I'm still getting used to it myself. My dad is coming up this weekend to see the baby.

I'm sure I'll write more later about little Coulson and motherhood.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRECIOUS BABY!!!!

Misery

Being the mom in the household, I have often taken for granted that I am usually the healthiest member of the household and I do like to rub this fact in whenever Casey is sick, since he generally eschews preventative measures such as exercise and vitamins (eschews - I'm studying for the GRE, can you tell?) Last year I can only remember getting sick once with a cold that lasted less than 2 days - I think I took some cold-eeze or zinc or something at the first symptom. Although the year before that I did get pretty sick, at which I time I realized that sometimes it is worthless to have a doctor in the house.

Well, I don't have the flu (got both flu shots this year, being pregnant and all) but I have the ugliest, nastiest, sneakiest cold ever. It started innocently on Monday night with a sore throat. Gradually on Tuesday I accumulated a slight cough. On Wednesday, my sore throat worsened and I woke up with nasal congestion and a headache. On Thursday, with the sore throat, nasal congestion and headache persisting and my cough worsening, I woke up with a slight case of pink eye in my right eye. By evening, I had an earache in my right ear, which got worse when I tried to go to bed, but I eventually made it to sleep. Now this morning I woke up with some gunk and slight pink eye in my left eye, which terrifies me that an earache in my left ear is in my near future.

And I'm eight months pregnant, so I'm already uncomfortable enough physically, so I don't need all of these other issues going on!

A new symptom each day - How many more symptoms can I possible get? And since I'm pregnant, I'm demure (another GRE word) to take medicine unless absolutely necessary (which Casey thinks is just a form of self-torture since lots of medicines have been proven safe) but I might have to take something besides Tylenol to combat some of these symptoms.

But Casey is home today, so I am taking a sick day. He got up with the kids this morning and got them all ready for school without any issues. Good practice for March ;-)

Diaper Dilemmas

This story starts way back, about 6 years ago when I was pregnant with Coulson. Before he was born, I started to do some research into cloth diapers to see if they would be a good option to consider. So I read a bunch of stuff on the internet about cloth diapers and how to use them and the environment and the financial considerations, etc., etc. After several hours of research, I started to share my findings with my husband when I hit a brick wall. Casey made it clear that under no uncertain terms would he ever change a cloth diaper, so if I wanted him to participate in that aspect of fatherhood, it better be disposable. So I stopped researching and resigned to using disposable diapers. (Thinking back on the situation, I must not have gotten too far in my plans because I don't think I ever really considered the fact that we didn't have a washing machine and dryer, so I would have had to launder all those cloth diapers at the laundromat...)

Fast forward about 5 years later and I attended my friend Christi's baby shower. She was planning to use cloth diapers and received a few of the diapers as gifts for her baby shower. They were very cute. And I got the chance to ask some questions about the diapers and learn about all the options available and I guess the idea got back in my head.

About a month after the baby shower, I had a dream. In my dream, Casey leaves me for another women and she get pregnant. Of course I was upset about that, but then I find out that they are going to use cloth diapers. It was like he was twisting the knife that he had already stabbed in my back! When I woke up I was still bothered by the dream. Not by the part where Casey leaves me for another woman -- he's the best husband in the world and has never given me even a tiny concern for unfaithfulness (much to the disappointment of all his lady co-workers and friends, because in all honesty, he's a damn fine catch!) -- but the diaper part really bothered me. So I figured if we decided to have another baby, I was going look into cloth diapers again.

Well, the bun's in the oven, as they say, so I've been looking into it again. Casey isn't super excited about the idea, but he's willing to tolerate my craziness as a testament of his love for me. My mom, who pinned and laundered cloth diapers for all four of us kids, can't fathom why I would want to do this. She would have loved for the luxury of being able to afford the fancy disposables. But she's sweet and willing to be supportive as well.

To encourage Casey, I compared it to being able to drive a stick shift in high school. In general most of the 16 year olds can drive a car, just as most fathers can change a diaper. It's nothing special. But to be able to drive a stick shift? That's a pretty cool skill. And in high school I could drive a "three-on-the-tree" stick shift (which according to wikipedia, was a popular 3-speed stick shift in cars in the 40s and 50s, but hasn't been used in the US since the 80s.) So driving a 3-speed stick shift? That was an awesome skill! And that's what's it's like for a dad to use cloth diapers - Big props to the dad who can do that!

So I did a bunch of research online, talked to some friends and family and decided what kind of diapers to use (among cloth diapers, there are a lot of choices - prefolds, shaped, all-in-ones, hybrids, etc.) and I planned to use them for the first size of cloth diapers, which would be about 3 months depending on fast my baby grows and then decide if I wanted to keep using them.

Then reality hit me. Charlie had an "accident" while we were out one day and I had a change of clothes for him and put the messy stuff in a plastic bag in his backpack (what we use as a "diaper" bag/change of clothes bag). Being the good mother that I am, I leave his backpack in the car for a few days and when I finally remember that he had an accident - whew! That was pretty gross. So I gave myself a reality check - I hate to do laundry and I'm a pretty lazy and forgetful mom. How often would I run out of clean diapers because I didn't want to finish the laundry sometime? I realized that cloth diapering isn't really a great fit with my housekeeping skills. I thought about this realization for about a week before I confessed to Casey. He was overjoyed!

BUT THEN, a week later, I had another epiphany. Two redeeming words - Diaper Service. I knew this was a dwindling industry and I don't live in a huge metropolitan area, so I figured the odds were against me, but I did a google search anyway. Guess what? Baby Diaper Service of NC serves my area! So I'm back on the cloth diaper bandwagon for now. I'll keep you posted.

Awww, thanks, that's so nice of you to say

This morning I stepped on my bathroom scale and it read "Lo." And I just thought it was the nicest thing for a scale to say to me. Especially since I've still got 10 weeks to go and I've already passed the recommended 30lbs of weight gain. My scale is the best scale ever!

ok, there is a slight chance that my scale was referring to its battery power, but I'll take any compliment I get.

It's a . . .

I used to watch the reruns for this show on Nick at Nite when I was in middle school, but I never thought it would become my life.

(And about the important stuff - the baby looks great - body, heart and brain look good, 2 legs, 2 arms, he's going to be a very cute baby!)

Permission granted

This post originally written Wed, Aug 12

Not that their opinion would change anything, but I like to get my kids' thoughts on a new baby before we actually crash their world with news of an addition. Before we got pregnant with Charlie, I asked Coulson if he would like a brother or sister and I made sure I got his affirmative answer on video. (See video at the end of this post.)

Last night, as the subject came up in natural conversation, I didn't have the camera ready, so I thought I would blog the conversation verbatim, in case the boys complain one day about their little sibling, I can remind them they wanted this. We were talking about pacifiers and that's where this started:

Charlie: Where are the pacifiers? Where are the pacifiers?

Mommy: We don't have any pacifiers now, we don't have any little babies in the house.

Daddy: Would you like to have a little baby in the house?

Both boys nod their heads yes.

Mommy, looking at Coulson: Do you really want a baby brother or sister?

Coulson: Yes, and I don't care if it's a brother or sister, because I'll be all grown. (I think he was saying that he's older now, so he doesn't need it to be brother a for a playmate)

Charlie: Or we could have two babies.

Mommy: Two babies? Ha, ha!

Coulson: That would be twins.

Mommy: And that would twice as much work. Maybe three times as much work.

Coulson just nods his head in agreement.

At this point, I was starting to get nervous about twins, so I just ended the conversation.

We really want to tell them, but we have decided to wait until the ultrasound next week and make sure we see that beating heart before we share with them. And we realize that once we tell them, we are risking exposure because they can't keep secrets.

2 pink lines

I haven't been in the mood lately to blog, but I thought I'd post some entries I wrote a while ago and was saving...


This post was originally written on Aug 3, 2009

It's been 2 weeks and a day since I first saw those 2 pink lines. I had my own suspicions when I was on my trip to NY, but I wanted to wait till I got back home so I could take the test when Casey was home. We're not too sure of our due date, but I'm thinking around the 3rd week of March.

So far the morning sickness hasn't been too bad, but I'm sure that will change soon. On a scale of 1-10, where 1 is perfectly fine and 10 is on my knees bowing to the porcelin goddess, I've been about a 2 for most of the time. With my other pregnancies, I usually maintained a 5 or 6 pretty much all day long for the first trimester, so I'm expecting my queasiness to get worse.

The main symptom I'm experiencing is extreme fatigue. If I could just lay in bed all day long... but I have 2 little imps to kick my butt in gear first thing every morning, so that's just a pipe dream. Every morning I try to rest on the couch, but it's hard to do with elbows and feet and knees jamming into me. Apparently a body on the couch makes an irresistable climbing and jumping spot. I usually try to take a break in the afternoon too, somedays with more success than others. Helping out at VBS last week didn't help me conserve any energy either, but I made it through the week.

We've told our parents, but not the boys yet. I'm looking forward to telling all our friends, but I want to get through my first round of OB appointments before we share the news.